It goes without saying….writing a book about the men who’ve been in your life and your past relationships is challenging, confronting and enlightening!!
I wrote the bulk of A Single Heart in August on a flight home from a Tony Robbins course in Fiji. And despite lots of editing and rewriting in the following months afterwards, I left the bulk of the text and the sentiment as it was initially captured on the page as is. And so some things in the book are no longer a reflection of my life now.
Our relationships can bring us the greatest joy and pleasure. They can equally bring us the greatest heartache and disappointment. I hope I’ve captured that eloquently in A Single Heart. Certainly I’ve experienced both sides of that coin and I like to think I’ve come out the other side wiser, more confident but just as loving and loveable. Something that is important to me.
I’ve put into one beautiful product everything that worked and was positive to me in exploring what I really wanted from love and a man. The text and the exercises in the book are all my own. But they have been inspired by the lessons and work of several individuals who’s work I’ve followed closely in the last year; Tony Robbins, his wife Sage, Rori Raye and Rachel Jayne Groover.
I learnt plenty about myself during the writing of A Single Heart. Some of it I didn’t like to be honest! There were many times where I had to sit this book aside and not look at her again for awhile. I’d glossed over in my mind the things that many of us do. It was confronting to see it laid bare on a page in my own handwriting; my mistakes, the damage I had carried.
I realised that I’d stumbled and tripped from one individual to another since I was in my teens. A “popular” boy who wrote me a love letter in high school, the boy who kissed me at a party, the boy who voted me as having the best arse at the McDonalds I worked at, the boy who was sweet and drove me home from piano lessons every week, that first year of University and living out of home, the boy who’s family I loved more than I did him, the boy who sent his friend to talk to me first and to let me know that he thought I was hot, the man who read my name on my bankcard and didn’t realise I had noticed, the man who smiled at me in a bar, the man who strikes up conversation with me about my dog, the man who smiled at me across a coffee table.
Honestly, show me attention, make me feel wanted and boom I was pretty much yours. Whether you were good for me or not.
And my marriage that I briefly mentioned in the book. Well I don’t regret that at all. It was explained to me how fate and free will co-exist together to shape our life choices. The heart knows what it wants and I could never have walked away from him without feeling a sense of regret and a wondering of what if. I had to follow it and ultimately that is the definition of following your fate. I can’t regret a connection that I couldn’t have not followed. So I don’t.
We like to think of “success” in any part of our lives as a straight line, but it’s not. It’s unhumanely. We’re not unfeeling robots. It’s an ever forward small connected loop forward. Every circle has to loop us back a little (or a lot) before it loops us further forward again. We need time to heal in our own way, to learn, to take a pause.
I wrote A Single Heart knowing it’s going to catch you as you’re entering that part of the circle where you are looping back around and going to feel all the feels that we all do on the backside of that circle before we move forward again. Self doubt, worry, fear, anxiety, stress, loneliness. (We should always remind ourselves of this when we’re next feeling those feels, we’re on the backside of the loop and that all loops move forward with time).
My hope is this book propels you forward faster in an over-reaching bigger loop forward. A loop that feeds back first into yourself, and then onto your relationships and love life.
Success is not repeating your same patterns and behaviours within the same kinds of relationships (repeating the same loop over and over again). Nor is it when the back part of the circle is more pronounced than the forward moving part of the circle.
The greater the work and self-discovery you put in during the back part of your loop with books like A Single Heart and other such tools, the further forward you will eventually move to where you actually do want to go. The more breakthroughs you will have.
My intention is for A Single Heart to change your unhelpful patterns when it comes to men and your relationships. I’m not an expert in matchmaking or dating. But I am an expert in you finding your best self again. And when you do that the world is your oyster. It opens right up.
Where you once saw limitations, hard work and unavailable men I hope A Single Heart will have you seeing options, solutions and possibilities.
And seeing that changes everything.
You can find your own copy of A Single Heart to purchase here.